fullmetalfisting:

Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

pornographicangel:

falloutbong:

dont hit men!!!!

dont hit women!!!

dont hit people!!!!

unless theyre into that in which case make sure you have a safeword

never respected a post as much as this

(Source: falloutbong)

australiansanta:

i apologise to every puppy that i havent patted yet and i’ll be there soon pal

"He said he loved me as I undid his pants
but had no words when I softly kissed his cheek"

(Source: ellendegeneres)

appetisers:

HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES

seducemymindyouidiot:

jaegerbitch:

if someone calls you a slut, break their fucking neck without even hesitating or saying a single word and as they lay there on the ground dead, lean down close to their corpse and whisper

slut means the end in swedish

This should probably not be construed as valid legal advice.